1. Help plan the bucks night.
Events are difficult to plan, so if you’re the best man, it’s OK to ask the other groomsmen for help. If you’re a groomsman, offer to help the best man. Check with the groom about what kind of party he’d like too – if he wants to keep it low-key with beers and pool and X-Box, don’t plan a rager. And whatever you do, DON’T plan it for the night before the wedding. Give him at least a week to recover – more if you think things might get crazy!
Round up all the suits, shirts, ties, cufflinks, belts, socks, shoes, the wedding rings, colognes and anything else you or the groom will be wearing. Put them in one area so they’re ready for the photographer before they arrive. Then anytime someone asks “hey where are my socks” you’ll have an answer for them straight up. If there are items in different sizes and you want to go the extra mile, label them according to who wears what.
3. Learn how to tie a tie – and practice before the day.
This is doubly important for bow ties, which are far trickier than a regular tie. Often only one man in the whole house can tie a tie properly, so he ends up doing everyone’s. Be that guy! It’s OK to tie them loosely on yourself first and then hand it over for each guy slip over his head. Now help them all get their ties to the correct length. Not sure where to start? YouTube it.
You’ll need them to cut off the tags on your shirts, pants and jackets – breaking them off can sometimes damage the suit! New suits often come with pockets and the back seam stitched shut to prove that they’re new. The pockets can probably be left closed if all else fails, but check the back of each man’s jacket as they put them on. If the split in the back is stitched shut, snip it open – they’ll have way more room to move and the jacket will sit better.
Confiscate phones, wallets, lighters, keys, sunglasses etc from all the boys and send them with a guest for safekeeping before the ceremony. These items make for weird bulges in pockets that don’t look great in photos. Oh, and make sure they’re on silent first. Don’t worry – you can all have them back after the bridal party portraits – you could even ask your stuff-keeper to just take them all to the reception for you. If you’re worried about not being able to communicate, designate one phone for that purpose and make sure anyone who might need to contact the groom has the number before the day.
Don’t let anyone wear sunnies in the car on the way to the ceremony – the pressure of the sunglasses on their skin leaves weird red marks on faces that take a while to fade away. Plus, the sun will seem much brighter when they take their sunglasses off before the ceremony anyway, which will leave them squinting – not ideal for the moment your bro first sees his wife-to-be at the end of the aisle. Leaving them off means eyes can adjust on the way.
You owe it to your buddy to give it your best shot, even if you hate public speaking. You don’t have to type it out word for word, but think about what you want to say and write down the key points. Don’t forget to introduce yourself and how you know the groom – lots of the guests probably won’t know you. Stories about ex-girlfriends are strictly off-limits. Don’t get sloshed before you have to speak. Traditionally the best man includes a toast to the bridesmaids in his speech, and the bride and groom at the end. Check with the couple if you aren’t sure about toasting, as they might have different plans in mind. If you’re a groomsman but not the best man, you’re off the hook – no speech necessary.
Just ask him if he needs anything, or if you can see that he does, do it for him. He might ask you to carry an esky, move a car, help seat the guests, or get him a drink. He has a thousand things on his mind, so pay attention and if you notice he needs help with something, either give him a hand or take it off his.